I seem to be blogging lesser nowadays. Thats not good news.

Wrote an entire paragraph, and then realised i was repeating myself. I've said my final goodbye to one who is a stranger to me. I must move one.

There has been comments that i am hyper sensitive and all too easily slighted. And that it was my major weakness. Hmmm, there is some truth in that. Some, i stress. Yes, i am sensitive. Hyper at times. I am unable to read minds, When we chat, i have no idea what your emotions are. What your true thoughts and meanings might be. All that i do is to react, and to interpret and perceive. At times, my perceptions are wrong, my interpretations go haywire. And in interpreting and perceiving, i would naturally look at the worst case scenarios. The onus has to be on the other party to correct me.

When we talk or meet, yes we would talk. We would hear each other. Messages are conveyed better. There is lesser room for miunderstandings. Mere written words, is just too difficult to be just interpreted literally.

When i approach a friendship, i would try to be as open as possible, as honest as possible, and yet be protective of my privacy. No, i would try very very hard to abstain from being lovey dovey. A person who confides their problems, would get my attention. I would emphathise with them. I would feel the emotions they are going through. Perhaps this inability to detach myself from these emotions, have lead to many problems over the years. By immersing myself into those problems, i just complicate matters. A new dimension is added. To detach oneself, would allow one the benefit of being less personal, and less emotional. I must master this detachment. Would i be less of a human by doing this. I wonder.

I read somewhere that cancerians supposedly treasure friendships and would never break one. I think its an error. A half-truth. I feel, i will try hard to keep friendships, but there are limits. There are times friendships just deteriorate into being just aquaintances or it breaks up. Once the limits are breached, one tends to react. There may be different reasons, and there has over the years been many reasons. A perception of being taken for granted. A lack of initiative to keep a friendship going. A situation when the conversation is limited to the customary polite chat of hellos and how are yous. When it is only one party that carrys the entire communication, ie. a one way street. A lack of sensitivity or genuine remorse over an indiscretion. TOo many possibilities. The crab just detaches itself and retreats into its shell for a variety of reasons. Perhaps to nurse the hurt. To not create a fuss or fight. To not be a bother. To not intrude into their lives. To not hurt. To wait and see if theres an attempt to talk things out.

Health is on the upside now. Feeling almost as good as new. The lower back still worries me though. It still scares me to think of the problem last week. To be immobile in the car and struggling to drive, is no fun. The slight twitch has started again. Perhaps its time i take this seriously and see a specialist. Squash is not an option at the moment. Have to stick to light workouts and weights at the moment.

Fantasy golf has been good still. Improved rankings to 243 now. All time high. Taunted Hogan and the aussies. But alas, he has mellowed. No fireworks. No dribbling.

EPL ..2 weeks to go. Cant wait.

Work has been tremendously hectic. Volume of work has exceeded what had been the norm during the boom period. Turnover is beginning to sustain at a healthy level. Long working hours has become the norm. The staff are struggling. Had to come out with various incentive packages to motivate. To expand would be too risky a gamble. But the computer vendor has been called. We need to upgrade. Lots of new hardware and software. Something that should improve productivity.

Gonna leave the office early today. Am tired, mentally worn out.