I'm never shy but this is different
I can't explain the way I'm feeling tonight
I'm losing control of my heart
Tell me what can I do to make you happy
Nothing I ever say seems to come out right
I'm losing control of my heart
And I wish that I could be
Another better part of me
Can't hear what your thinking
Maybe if I just let go
you'd open up your heart
But I can't read you
I wish I knew what's going through your mind
Can't touch you, your heart defending I get left behind
I can't reach you
I wish I knew what's going through your mind
Can't touch you, your heart protecting I get left behind
No no no no no
No no no no no
I like you so much I'm acting stupid
I can't play the game I'm all intense and alive
I'm losing control of my heart
I'm not supposed to be this nervous
I should play my hand all cool and calm
I can't breathe
I'm losing control of my heart
And I wish that you could see
The other better parts of me
Feel this fire I'm feeling
Then you'd see me in control
And baby then you'd know
But I can't read you
I wish I knew what's going through your mind
Can't touch you, your heart defending I get left behind
I can't reach you
I wish I knew what's going through your mind
Can't touch you, your heart protecting I get left behind
No no no no no
No, its not my creation. Its Daniel Bedingfield's "I can't read you".
Another favourite of mine is Savage Garden's "Crash and burn". Could relate to it for most times thats how i was, i guess. On hindsight, stupid of me :)
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
And there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breathe again
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Somehow, of late i've come to the conclusion that in here, at the end of it all, one is alone. It becomes a circle of one.
It's been a tiring day, its 10pm. Am still at office. There's still much work to be done. I guess i'll still be here for at least 2 hours.
Can't believe that almost the entire weekend nights that passed by was spent watching the British Open golf tourney. It was worth the watch. The first time ever i've sat through many hours of seeing fellas hitting a small ball with long sticks, trying to put the ball into 18 small holes. Felt sorry for the danish guy, Bjorn was it his name. The bunker shot on the 15th or 16th destroyed what seemed to have been a sure win. And monday morning was a pleasant start. Improved world rankings to almost 400, in the yahoo fantasy golf game. I think this is the best i've done in the past 3 years.
Oh yes, I almost forgot. Why did I lie. Why didnt I reveal the main reason for leaving that environment. Instinctively, when was asked, I didnt want to cause further hurt. There had been too much of it before. A little white lie wouldnt hurt anyone. The last thing I would want is someone to feel guilty that they're the main cause. The disappointments, one after another over the months has been overwhelming, yes. Better to just let this be the reason. But then, this seems like wishful thinking on my part. Nobody cares anyway.
I seem to be publicizing the existence of these ramblings. Quite a few have read it. Now, I wish I would allocate a few hours, and work on putting on a guest book on this blog, so that I could read what others may think of some of the crap I've written here. As for me, I write what I feel. Its mostly impromptu. But I have realised that the longer I spend to write here, the more I reflect on the past. And this is something I must stop doing.
Am almost ok from my recent bout of cold/cough. Wonder though if I should drive up to KL for the tender briefing at Shah Alam. Will probably wait till the last moment. Isn't it day after tomorrow? A quick drive up the night before, that would be tomorrow. And a return drive the following evening.
Can't write anymore
ciao