I broke down there and then. It was overwhelming. The thought of losing someone when you least expect. He had been perfectly fine up to end of november. I called up brother and told him briefly what had happened, and to bring mum and the kids here. Started phoning up and SMSing everyone i knew to inform them what was happening. By noon, visitors were flocking and crowding around the bed. Just like during his surgery in August, there were lots of people.

His blood pressure was still on the low side, eventhough he was given high doses of medication. By 3 pm though, his pressure had risen to almost normal. Hopes were rekindled. We were praying for the best. Quite a number of outstation friends and relatives had arrived. The guard had a tough time asking everyone to leave at the end of the visiting hours. By 8 though, his pressure was dropping and beginning to be volatile. My siblings, cousins, aunt and mum as well as quite a number of close friends were staying back. We were very anxious. Praying hard. Trying to stay positive.

By 10.30pm or thereabout, his heart failed again. The doctors and nurses curtained off his bed and tried to revive him. They tried. Tears were flowing. The lady doctor came out and just simply said.... "we tried our best but we couldnt". Or something like that, and she went away. Kneeled before mum and told her what had happened. She broke down. Eldest sister fainted. Tears were flowing everywhere. Its a feeling I had never experienced all my life. Reality sunk in. We lost our anchor. The person who had struggled almost his entire life to provide for his family. To provide for a better tomorrow. A person who had selflessly given and did anything he could to help others. Who had worked diligently and hard right from his teen years during the Second World War here. And at the end of his service with the government was given a watch and a clock. No medals, no grants. Minimum promotions. Just a statistic.


Arrangements were made the same night to bring his remains back to his place. Some very close friends and the cousins assisted. I accompanied his remains to the mortuary where the burial certificate was issued. By 1am we were back home. Everyone else had arrived earlier. The house was cleaned up. Photos removed, prayer altar covered. A mattress was laid in the hall and he was laid there. All wrapped up in white sheets. I was asked to open up the sheets. My hands trembled and tears flowed. I just couldnt control myself. Friends helped to arrange his remains properly. Just then, I noticed that Dad was smiling. In passing, he left with a smile to us. It was overwhelming to sit in the hall. Most times I would be out helping out to make arrangements for his cremation later in the afternoon, Wednesday.

Things had happened too swiftly. One moment on monday morning he was vomitting. By Tuesday night he had passed away. That break on tuesday morning to night, gave most of us some time to understand the situation. I was told to expect the worst. On one hand we were consoled he passed away with minimum suffering at the end. But on the other hand, we regretted he had embarked on the chemotheraphy. If only he hadnt. So many if onlys. He could have been living for many months or years. If only. If only.