"so typical of idiotic women to pick only parts of my sentences, twist the meaning to suite their taste and then try to attack me. This has nothing to do with me analyzing. It has everything to do with you inability to understand what i write and form an understanding that is totally wrong. And you dont like to be told youre wrong. And when i say the type of people am looking for to chat, you pick part of my line and come up with a pathetic response. At this juncture, yes, i would agree... i dont find it stimulating to chat with you. Its a one way track. It is too reliant on only me to carry a chat conversation, and thats a bore. Please dont reply. Dont wish to waste either of our time. End."
Now...thats how nasty i can get. I love to chat. But when i say simple things, and my words get interpreted in the most twisted way possible, i will react. :) Am ony human. The second point goes back to what i had blogged much earlier. For me to sustain interest in a chat with a particular person, there must be a two way communication. The other party has got to show some interest to keep this fragile chat friendship going. Ouf of sight, would almost always make me go out of your life.
Tuesday, July 29, 2003
Monday, July 28, 2003
The weekend was one of mixed emotions. On one hand, i tried to patch up someone's broken friendship with another, and in the process get brushed aside. Wasnt surprised though. Had decided to back off. The incident on saturday was the right catalyst to say my final goodbye. I have written about this earlier, days ago. The person i used to know, is no longer. I cannot cling to memories and look at the future. The goodbye was brief,with best wishes for the future. Naturally had wanted to say, if ever there was a need for someone to talk to, to just contact me. But then, i knew better then to make a fool out of myself, again. As much as i want a friendship, if its distorted in such a manner that only brings sadness, its best i dont intrude. This time though, am certain. I must not intrude anymore.
It was otherwise, a nice quiet weekend with the family. The kids are a joy to be with. K is beginning to crawl a bit. She doesnt like being alone, and needs company at all times. D has grown up a lot and beginning to talk more. Very active, and loves chocolates. And cartoons. Sigh, guilty we are for introducing cartoon movies to her. She also has the tendency to bite or pinch or hit K. This is a constant worry. We try to make sure theyre equally loved, and ensure D is never left out, that at least one of us are with her at all times. The rain on Sunday put paid to all our plans to bring the kids out. Managed to sneak out that night to the computer fair and get my printer ink catridges though. As usual, there was nothing new at the fair.
As for golf, monday afternoon was a pleasant one. A big jump in the yahoo fantasy golf rankings, to 253 out of 280769 teams. Breaking into the top 50 and being listed on the yahoo page is always the target. Many more months of competition. Can only hope for the best since theres a lot of luck involved here.
This morning too saw a few of us here talking about life here. How things are done. How accountability is a word alien to those in position. How time after time, blunders are commited by ministers, department heads, civil servants, people in managment, and its all covered up. Not a single one it seems have ever taken the fall, to hold themself to be accountable and to tender their resignation, save for one. Was it not Tan sri elyas omar, the ex mayor of KL who resigned, taking responsibility of the shortcomings of his subordinates? Contracts are given out blindly, with hardly supervision. Money, public's, is spent without a thought. It has become apparent over the years, money is spent with only one thing in mind. What's the kickbacks involved. That sadly is the state of the country.
We have the johor state declaring this year to be the Visit Johor Year. Its already end of July and we still see half the town still being dug up to construct proper drains, lighting and pavements. Shop owners crying foul over lost business and inconvenience. Rubbish all over. Hardly a proper signboard to warn people of works being done. A total mess. An eye sore of the highest degree. One need not mention about the infamous Sungai Segget, with its notorious smell. Decisons made without any thought. Are we so devoid of intelligent people in the decision making sections of our country's administration. Doesnt common sense tell one that you improve things, make the city presentable, for it is after all the southern gateway of the country. And then only do you go on an aggresive tourism promotion to encourage people to visit you.
Which brings to mind a possible rationale. Elections could be coming soon. Transitions in the government. It could be better to have all the spendings this year and skim their "cuts" while they can. Its appearing to be like their God-given right to take a cut of everything.
How would i solve this problem? Am i just an armchair critic? One simple suggestion, that will solve and curb this problem.
Every single civil servant and politician holding public office, must declare their entire asset list every year. Best to include the assets of their spouses and children too in that list. Would be interesting to see what each one of them have accumulated over the years. Naturally this is one proposal that will never see daylight. It will help too if the ACA was made to be an independent authority answerable to the Parliment, and headed by a committee of say 10 persons voted in by the public in a nationwide election. Farfetched? Who knows, it could work.
Whatever happened to that earlier mentioned case of someone supposedly copying my words and flow of thought? Well, though asked to stop communicating with me, the person persisted with yet another email. Naturally i replied and bluntly told off the party. Copy by all means. Proclaim your intelligence and ability to write by all means. But at the same time, the similiarity is so damning that even a lay person will tell you its copied. Blocked the email address and refuse to indulge further in that matter.
It was otherwise, a nice quiet weekend with the family. The kids are a joy to be with. K is beginning to crawl a bit. She doesnt like being alone, and needs company at all times. D has grown up a lot and beginning to talk more. Very active, and loves chocolates. And cartoons. Sigh, guilty we are for introducing cartoon movies to her. She also has the tendency to bite or pinch or hit K. This is a constant worry. We try to make sure theyre equally loved, and ensure D is never left out, that at least one of us are with her at all times. The rain on Sunday put paid to all our plans to bring the kids out. Managed to sneak out that night to the computer fair and get my printer ink catridges though. As usual, there was nothing new at the fair.
As for golf, monday afternoon was a pleasant one. A big jump in the yahoo fantasy golf rankings, to 253 out of 280769 teams. Breaking into the top 50 and being listed on the yahoo page is always the target. Many more months of competition. Can only hope for the best since theres a lot of luck involved here.
This morning too saw a few of us here talking about life here. How things are done. How accountability is a word alien to those in position. How time after time, blunders are commited by ministers, department heads, civil servants, people in managment, and its all covered up. Not a single one it seems have ever taken the fall, to hold themself to be accountable and to tender their resignation, save for one. Was it not Tan sri elyas omar, the ex mayor of KL who resigned, taking responsibility of the shortcomings of his subordinates? Contracts are given out blindly, with hardly supervision. Money, public's, is spent without a thought. It has become apparent over the years, money is spent with only one thing in mind. What's the kickbacks involved. That sadly is the state of the country.
We have the johor state declaring this year to be the Visit Johor Year. Its already end of July and we still see half the town still being dug up to construct proper drains, lighting and pavements. Shop owners crying foul over lost business and inconvenience. Rubbish all over. Hardly a proper signboard to warn people of works being done. A total mess. An eye sore of the highest degree. One need not mention about the infamous Sungai Segget, with its notorious smell. Decisons made without any thought. Are we so devoid of intelligent people in the decision making sections of our country's administration. Doesnt common sense tell one that you improve things, make the city presentable, for it is after all the southern gateway of the country. And then only do you go on an aggresive tourism promotion to encourage people to visit you.
Which brings to mind a possible rationale. Elections could be coming soon. Transitions in the government. It could be better to have all the spendings this year and skim their "cuts" while they can. Its appearing to be like their God-given right to take a cut of everything.
How would i solve this problem? Am i just an armchair critic? One simple suggestion, that will solve and curb this problem.
Every single civil servant and politician holding public office, must declare their entire asset list every year. Best to include the assets of their spouses and children too in that list. Would be interesting to see what each one of them have accumulated over the years. Naturally this is one proposal that will never see daylight. It will help too if the ACA was made to be an independent authority answerable to the Parliment, and headed by a committee of say 10 persons voted in by the public in a nationwide election. Farfetched? Who knows, it could work.
Whatever happened to that earlier mentioned case of someone supposedly copying my words and flow of thought? Well, though asked to stop communicating with me, the person persisted with yet another email. Naturally i replied and bluntly told off the party. Copy by all means. Proclaim your intelligence and ability to write by all means. But at the same time, the similiarity is so damning that even a lay person will tell you its copied. Blocked the email address and refuse to indulge further in that matter.
Saturday, July 26, 2003
Its already friday, and just didnt have the time to write the past few days.
Almost fully recovered from the flu. Late nite work at office for days, had taken its toll. Lack of sleep on a stretch, almost always the cold/cough to set in.
An interesting thing happened last night. Someone i knew on chat previously at the kuala lumpur global chat:1, had sent her goodbye message to a number of people, including me. At the first reading, i burst into laughter as i realised that so much was taken from my own goodbye note early July.
Yes, my command of the language isnt good. All who read this blog will attest to that. Grammar mistakes everywhere. Am fully aware. But then, this isnt a book, well not yet anyway.
But when exact words, exact phrases, and flow of thought is reproduced, it doesnt speak much of that party. A simple laugh it off, is instead replaced by a flat denial of any similarities. Even to the extent of requesting i highlight where the similarities are. :) Something that first started as a tease, ends up being a major blowout, with me being called names. :)
Saturday will then likely see a few more friends sharing their views on this matter. Thus far, one other lady has commented the similarities are so stark, so blatant. Its amazing the extent some go, and the inability to let humility surface. Enough bandwith on such.
Golf has been good. At 416 position now. Hoping to break through the 400 barrier by sunday.
Saturday is a working day. Sigh. Much to be done at office.
Almost fully recovered from the flu. Late nite work at office for days, had taken its toll. Lack of sleep on a stretch, almost always the cold/cough to set in.
An interesting thing happened last night. Someone i knew on chat previously at the kuala lumpur global chat:1, had sent her goodbye message to a number of people, including me. At the first reading, i burst into laughter as i realised that so much was taken from my own goodbye note early July.
Yes, my command of the language isnt good. All who read this blog will attest to that. Grammar mistakes everywhere. Am fully aware. But then, this isnt a book, well not yet anyway.
But when exact words, exact phrases, and flow of thought is reproduced, it doesnt speak much of that party. A simple laugh it off, is instead replaced by a flat denial of any similarities. Even to the extent of requesting i highlight where the similarities are. :) Something that first started as a tease, ends up being a major blowout, with me being called names. :)
Saturday will then likely see a few more friends sharing their views on this matter. Thus far, one other lady has commented the similarities are so stark, so blatant. Its amazing the extent some go, and the inability to let humility surface. Enough bandwith on such.
Golf has been good. At 416 position now. Hoping to break through the 400 barrier by sunday.
Saturday is a working day. Sigh. Much to be done at office.
Tuesday, July 22, 2003
1230am. For once in all these years, its been a worthwhile and rewarding stay at office this late.
Class 95fm in Singapore had a contest just now. Something about golf personalities. And there was no correct answers. Then the DJ gave a clue about the guy winning the 1954 US amateur championship. Naturally the internet search engines listed arnold palmer as the fella. And blindly calling in, my call went through. I won! I won!! Ha Ha! For once, won something from the radio. A CD hamper. Love songs i guess. Good for a change i guess, instead of listening to heartbreaking and negative numbers. Hope mrs listened to the radio just now. How different my voice sounds on radio, i couldnt recognize it myself.
CIAO!!
Class 95fm in Singapore had a contest just now. Something about golf personalities. And there was no correct answers. Then the DJ gave a clue about the guy winning the 1954 US amateur championship. Naturally the internet search engines listed arnold palmer as the fella. And blindly calling in, my call went through. I won! I won!! Ha Ha! For once, won something from the radio. A CD hamper. Love songs i guess. Good for a change i guess, instead of listening to heartbreaking and negative numbers. Hope mrs listened to the radio just now. How different my voice sounds on radio, i couldnt recognize it myself.
CIAO!!
Monday, July 21, 2003
I'm never shy but this is different
I can't explain the way I'm feeling tonight
I'm losing control of my heart
Tell me what can I do to make you happy
Nothing I ever say seems to come out right
I'm losing control of my heart
And I wish that I could be
Another better part of me
Can't hear what your thinking
Maybe if I just let go
you'd open up your heart
But I can't read you
I wish I knew what's going through your mind
Can't touch you, your heart defending I get left behind
I can't reach you
I wish I knew what's going through your mind
Can't touch you, your heart protecting I get left behind
No no no no no
No no no no no
I like you so much I'm acting stupid
I can't play the game I'm all intense and alive
I'm losing control of my heart
I'm not supposed to be this nervous
I should play my hand all cool and calm
I can't breathe
I'm losing control of my heart
And I wish that you could see
The other better parts of me
Feel this fire I'm feeling
Then you'd see me in control
And baby then you'd know
But I can't read you
I wish I knew what's going through your mind
Can't touch you, your heart defending I get left behind
I can't reach you
I wish I knew what's going through your mind
Can't touch you, your heart protecting I get left behind
No no no no no
No, its not my creation. Its Daniel Bedingfield's "I can't read you".
Another favourite of mine is Savage Garden's "Crash and burn". Could relate to it for most times thats how i was, i guess. On hindsight, stupid of me :)
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
And there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breathe again
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Somehow, of late i've come to the conclusion that in here, at the end of it all, one is alone. It becomes a circle of one.
It's been a tiring day, its 10pm. Am still at office. There's still much work to be done. I guess i'll still be here for at least 2 hours.
Can't believe that almost the entire weekend nights that passed by was spent watching the British Open golf tourney. It was worth the watch. The first time ever i've sat through many hours of seeing fellas hitting a small ball with long sticks, trying to put the ball into 18 small holes. Felt sorry for the danish guy, Bjorn was it his name. The bunker shot on the 15th or 16th destroyed what seemed to have been a sure win. And monday morning was a pleasant start. Improved world rankings to almost 400, in the yahoo fantasy golf game. I think this is the best i've done in the past 3 years.
Oh yes, I almost forgot. Why did I lie. Why didnt I reveal the main reason for leaving that environment. Instinctively, when was asked, I didnt want to cause further hurt. There had been too much of it before. A little white lie wouldnt hurt anyone. The last thing I would want is someone to feel guilty that they're the main cause. The disappointments, one after another over the months has been overwhelming, yes. Better to just let this be the reason. But then, this seems like wishful thinking on my part. Nobody cares anyway.
I seem to be publicizing the existence of these ramblings. Quite a few have read it. Now, I wish I would allocate a few hours, and work on putting on a guest book on this blog, so that I could read what others may think of some of the crap I've written here. As for me, I write what I feel. Its mostly impromptu. But I have realised that the longer I spend to write here, the more I reflect on the past. And this is something I must stop doing.
Am almost ok from my recent bout of cold/cough. Wonder though if I should drive up to KL for the tender briefing at Shah Alam. Will probably wait till the last moment. Isn't it day after tomorrow? A quick drive up the night before, that would be tomorrow. And a return drive the following evening.
Can't write anymore
ciao
I can't explain the way I'm feeling tonight
I'm losing control of my heart
Tell me what can I do to make you happy
Nothing I ever say seems to come out right
I'm losing control of my heart
And I wish that I could be
Another better part of me
Can't hear what your thinking
Maybe if I just let go
you'd open up your heart
But I can't read you
I wish I knew what's going through your mind
Can't touch you, your heart defending I get left behind
I can't reach you
I wish I knew what's going through your mind
Can't touch you, your heart protecting I get left behind
No no no no no
No no no no no
I like you so much I'm acting stupid
I can't play the game I'm all intense and alive
I'm losing control of my heart
I'm not supposed to be this nervous
I should play my hand all cool and calm
I can't breathe
I'm losing control of my heart
And I wish that you could see
The other better parts of me
Feel this fire I'm feeling
Then you'd see me in control
And baby then you'd know
But I can't read you
I wish I knew what's going through your mind
Can't touch you, your heart defending I get left behind
I can't reach you
I wish I knew what's going through your mind
Can't touch you, your heart protecting I get left behind
No no no no no
No, its not my creation. Its Daniel Bedingfield's "I can't read you".
Another favourite of mine is Savage Garden's "Crash and burn". Could relate to it for most times thats how i was, i guess. On hindsight, stupid of me :)
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
And there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breathe again
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Somehow, of late i've come to the conclusion that in here, at the end of it all, one is alone. It becomes a circle of one.
It's been a tiring day, its 10pm. Am still at office. There's still much work to be done. I guess i'll still be here for at least 2 hours.
Can't believe that almost the entire weekend nights that passed by was spent watching the British Open golf tourney. It was worth the watch. The first time ever i've sat through many hours of seeing fellas hitting a small ball with long sticks, trying to put the ball into 18 small holes. Felt sorry for the danish guy, Bjorn was it his name. The bunker shot on the 15th or 16th destroyed what seemed to have been a sure win. And monday morning was a pleasant start. Improved world rankings to almost 400, in the yahoo fantasy golf game. I think this is the best i've done in the past 3 years.
Oh yes, I almost forgot. Why did I lie. Why didnt I reveal the main reason for leaving that environment. Instinctively, when was asked, I didnt want to cause further hurt. There had been too much of it before. A little white lie wouldnt hurt anyone. The last thing I would want is someone to feel guilty that they're the main cause. The disappointments, one after another over the months has been overwhelming, yes. Better to just let this be the reason. But then, this seems like wishful thinking on my part. Nobody cares anyway.
I seem to be publicizing the existence of these ramblings. Quite a few have read it. Now, I wish I would allocate a few hours, and work on putting on a guest book on this blog, so that I could read what others may think of some of the crap I've written here. As for me, I write what I feel. Its mostly impromptu. But I have realised that the longer I spend to write here, the more I reflect on the past. And this is something I must stop doing.
Am almost ok from my recent bout of cold/cough. Wonder though if I should drive up to KL for the tender briefing at Shah Alam. Will probably wait till the last moment. Isn't it day after tomorrow? A quick drive up the night before, that would be tomorrow. And a return drive the following evening.
Can't write anymore
ciao
Saturday, July 19, 2003
Been unwell past 2 days. That sort of explains the silence here. As usual, the same thoughts pass through the mind.
Several things have happened past few days. Had a good lunch with the bankers on wednesday. Skipped the opening ceremony of a bank on thursday. Didnt like the idea of sniffing in a crowd. Will need to drop by their office next week though.
Highlight of the week must be knowing a particular institution had agreed to continue using our services. Must continue to improve things at office considering the workload is likely to be sustained for months now. Upgrading of computers and other stuff is right at the top of the list of things to do.
As for life, thankfully thus far the kids have not got the cold from me. Pray that they wont. Never a pleasant experience having sick young ones. :(
On the historical front, there continues to be disappointment whenever the mind wanders and reflects. On the golf front, hurray..broke into the top 500 in the fantasy golf game. One step at a time i guess. Its getting to be boring at the group, with the aussies keeping a low key. If only EPL starts now.
Time for a short nap.
Several things have happened past few days. Had a good lunch with the bankers on wednesday. Skipped the opening ceremony of a bank on thursday. Didnt like the idea of sniffing in a crowd. Will need to drop by their office next week though.
Highlight of the week must be knowing a particular institution had agreed to continue using our services. Must continue to improve things at office considering the workload is likely to be sustained for months now. Upgrading of computers and other stuff is right at the top of the list of things to do.
As for life, thankfully thus far the kids have not got the cold from me. Pray that they wont. Never a pleasant experience having sick young ones. :(
On the historical front, there continues to be disappointment whenever the mind wanders and reflects. On the golf front, hurray..broke into the top 500 in the fantasy golf game. One step at a time i guess. Its getting to be boring at the group, with the aussies keeping a low key. If only EPL starts now.
Time for a short nap.
Wednesday, July 16, 2003
Too many have asked why the Jerk picks (or hits on me, depends on how you look at it) on me over the years. It happened a long time ago, when KL global chat was at its infancy. I believe it was back in late 2000.
He was using many IDs, amongst others being hindi cinema actor's names etc. Didnt bother us old timers. Then he started passing smart ass remarks. Immature ones too, which reflected badly on him. Example? One was how married folks should spend time with their loved ones instead of chatting. Presumably he didnt know that most people chat because theyre free, and the spouses are either busy with other stuff or arent around, or any other reasons thats no business of others. :) The other was something along the lines of, cool people should out and about, especially on saturday nights, instead of sitting in front of the pc chatting away. Well, again he fails to realise, some people prefer to stay home. And we all know, in time to come, he ended up being online almost all day long, using different IDs just to spy on others, to check on whether anyone was talking bad about him :)
Then came the proclaimation that he was a virgin (mind you, he's supposedly in his mid to late 20s). And he was beginning to show his hollier than thou attitude. Naturally lots of people teased him. Naturally i couldnt resist the temptation to burst his bubble.
Asked him a simple question. Do you engage in the act of masturbation. Cos, in my opinion, a male who is a virgin, should not have ever masturbated either :D Obviously, the bubble burst, and he got annoyed that such a question could ever be asked :D
Well, not wanting to kick a person when he is down, i privately told him we (me) were only teasing him. And that it was an admirable thing, to stay off sex (naturally masturbation doesnt count) till marriage. Just when i was beginning to be nice, he had to blow it. He said, all the women from chat he met in person, wanted to have sex with him !!! I definitely didnt need to know that. In the back of my mind, every other women who tells me they have met the fella, would have wanted to have sex with him. Regardless of the truth. Told him off for being extremely ungentlemanly with that comment.
Naturally there were many other incidents involving me, and madnoh, as well as some other old timers in the chat room. But then, we never hated the fella. He had this tendency to come up with very long sentences that had "big" words, that almost always somehow or rather never did fit into the sentence. It wasnt an issue of whether a person's command of english was good or bad. It was a simple case of someone trying to show off and yet, using the words wrongly. The lack of humility and all of the above, just made the whole thing a very humourous experience for a few of us. We would copy paste his entire sentences, and pass them around to a small group of 4 or 5 guys. Exact sentences, no editing, we laugh, we move on. Examples? Many, but mostly at my office pc.
There was one incident, he was chatting with someone on open chat, and was copy pasting entire paragraphs of a letter purportedly to be sent to cyberjaya's developer or someone, to complain about bad workmanship. He coined a word, that me and a buddy will remember the rest of our lives :D " ...the gutterlessness..." (gutter=A trough fixed under or along the eaves for draining rainwater from a roof.Also called regionally eaves spout, eaves trough, rainspout, spouting.) (seems the house didnt have gutters or something) :D
Then we received lots of feedback from friends, that he was going around complaining how me and madnoh hated him. Heaven forbid, we loved him for all the laughter he has provided over the years, albeit at his expense :) As for us, we just remained silent, told people what was our stand, and life went on.
I guess after a while, when this small group of friends were involved with yahoo's fantasy EPL football game, we utilized the bulletin board in our private group to post messages. Obviously we copy pasted his exact lines whenever we happened to see funny ones. So folks, all you curious ones, this is the backdrop..the brief history of what has been happening. It was never a secret that we were copy pasting his lines. i for one, would say things like...ahhh here comes out the note pad..and copy paste is done for future reading or to be passed around. :) And over the years many have vainly tried to get through that mind, to get rid of the vanity and pompous attitude. As for me and my buddy, nah.. thats a waste of time. Everyone is entitled to say their piece on chat. Its a free world after all aint it. And we were free to copy paste his exact words and laugh at them :) No slander, no defamation, no cooked up story, no rumours, not bitching.
Of late he had been pestering to meet up. God knows why he doesnt understand that i dislike him, and i dont simply meet everyone from chat. Why would i want to waste my time. I am supposedly cowardly for declining to meet him. :D He even taunts by saying things like some women hate me. Sigh, like i care.
Over the years most who know me, know very well, many on chat dislike me. And for each and everyone of these, theres always a separate reason. For me, life goes on. Most of us are there to kill time, not to argue or to pick fights. And for me, chat is never about a popularity contest. Am blunt, am arrogant, i say whats on my mind, and i am a bad player of the diplomatic hypocritic game of smiling at someone, and then shitting them later to others. One is conditioned generally by the environment theyre in. If the perception is am arrogant, so be it. Its others' perception, and theyre free to perceive. Most would just turn a blind eye, not step on toes. I have much to learn i guess in this aspect of life.
Its getting late. Will try to post some interesting quotes from yesteryears. Its a busy day ahead in the morning. Time to hit the sack. Ciao.
He was using many IDs, amongst others being hindi cinema actor's names etc. Didnt bother us old timers. Then he started passing smart ass remarks. Immature ones too, which reflected badly on him. Example? One was how married folks should spend time with their loved ones instead of chatting. Presumably he didnt know that most people chat because theyre free, and the spouses are either busy with other stuff or arent around, or any other reasons thats no business of others. :) The other was something along the lines of, cool people should out and about, especially on saturday nights, instead of sitting in front of the pc chatting away. Well, again he fails to realise, some people prefer to stay home. And we all know, in time to come, he ended up being online almost all day long, using different IDs just to spy on others, to check on whether anyone was talking bad about him :)
Then came the proclaimation that he was a virgin (mind you, he's supposedly in his mid to late 20s). And he was beginning to show his hollier than thou attitude. Naturally lots of people teased him. Naturally i couldnt resist the temptation to burst his bubble.
Asked him a simple question. Do you engage in the act of masturbation. Cos, in my opinion, a male who is a virgin, should not have ever masturbated either :D Obviously, the bubble burst, and he got annoyed that such a question could ever be asked :D
Well, not wanting to kick a person when he is down, i privately told him we (me) were only teasing him. And that it was an admirable thing, to stay off sex (naturally masturbation doesnt count) till marriage. Just when i was beginning to be nice, he had to blow it. He said, all the women from chat he met in person, wanted to have sex with him !!! I definitely didnt need to know that. In the back of my mind, every other women who tells me they have met the fella, would have wanted to have sex with him. Regardless of the truth. Told him off for being extremely ungentlemanly with that comment.
Naturally there were many other incidents involving me, and madnoh, as well as some other old timers in the chat room. But then, we never hated the fella. He had this tendency to come up with very long sentences that had "big" words, that almost always somehow or rather never did fit into the sentence. It wasnt an issue of whether a person's command of english was good or bad. It was a simple case of someone trying to show off and yet, using the words wrongly. The lack of humility and all of the above, just made the whole thing a very humourous experience for a few of us. We would copy paste his entire sentences, and pass them around to a small group of 4 or 5 guys. Exact sentences, no editing, we laugh, we move on. Examples? Many, but mostly at my office pc.
There was one incident, he was chatting with someone on open chat, and was copy pasting entire paragraphs of a letter purportedly to be sent to cyberjaya's developer or someone, to complain about bad workmanship. He coined a word, that me and a buddy will remember the rest of our lives :D " ...the gutterlessness..." (gutter=A trough fixed under or along the eaves for draining rainwater from a roof.Also called regionally eaves spout, eaves trough, rainspout, spouting.) (seems the house didnt have gutters or something) :D
Then we received lots of feedback from friends, that he was going around complaining how me and madnoh hated him. Heaven forbid, we loved him for all the laughter he has provided over the years, albeit at his expense :) As for us, we just remained silent, told people what was our stand, and life went on.
I guess after a while, when this small group of friends were involved with yahoo's fantasy EPL football game, we utilized the bulletin board in our private group to post messages. Obviously we copy pasted his exact lines whenever we happened to see funny ones. So folks, all you curious ones, this is the backdrop..the brief history of what has been happening. It was never a secret that we were copy pasting his lines. i for one, would say things like...ahhh here comes out the note pad..and copy paste is done for future reading or to be passed around. :) And over the years many have vainly tried to get through that mind, to get rid of the vanity and pompous attitude. As for me and my buddy, nah.. thats a waste of time. Everyone is entitled to say their piece on chat. Its a free world after all aint it. And we were free to copy paste his exact words and laugh at them :) No slander, no defamation, no cooked up story, no rumours, not bitching.
Of late he had been pestering to meet up. God knows why he doesnt understand that i dislike him, and i dont simply meet everyone from chat. Why would i want to waste my time. I am supposedly cowardly for declining to meet him. :D He even taunts by saying things like some women hate me. Sigh, like i care.
Over the years most who know me, know very well, many on chat dislike me. And for each and everyone of these, theres always a separate reason. For me, life goes on. Most of us are there to kill time, not to argue or to pick fights. And for me, chat is never about a popularity contest. Am blunt, am arrogant, i say whats on my mind, and i am a bad player of the diplomatic hypocritic game of smiling at someone, and then shitting them later to others. One is conditioned generally by the environment theyre in. If the perception is am arrogant, so be it. Its others' perception, and theyre free to perceive. Most would just turn a blind eye, not step on toes. I have much to learn i guess in this aspect of life.
Its getting late. Will try to post some interesting quotes from yesteryears. Its a busy day ahead in the morning. Time to hit the sack. Ciao.
Monday, July 14, 2003
Friday, July 11, 2003
Its almost the end of Friday. Just finished most of my work. Done with the printing. One of my staff came in to work, with his wife and son. Am thankful he takes the initiative to work harder to clear the pile up on his table.
K would have slept by now i guess. Hope D is still awake. Miss both of them lots. Better head for home now. Back to work tomorrow. Sigh.
K would have slept by now i guess. Hope D is still awake. Miss both of them lots. Better head for home now. Back to work tomorrow. Sigh.
Thursday, July 10, 2003
Been thinking a lot, as usual. Have decided to keep silent. If am wanted as a friend, then let them come to me. Let them make the attempt. And if they dont, i will just accept that and allow whatever friendships, if one could call it such, that have been in existence all this while, to just die a natural death.
Somehow or rather, there will tend to be a silver lining in the clouds. Have been communicating with an old chat friend recently. Known the lady for 2 years plus now. 2 years is a long time here online, for me. She's married and has a good hubby. Nice couple they are. But somehow or rather have not been able to meet up with them at KL whenever am there. Its been 7 months since last saw them. I guess when all is done and considered, she's been one rare individual from the online world who's been true, without pretensions, without expectations, and wants to keep the friendship going. Theres never a need to worry about "wayangs" i.e. play-acting, or hidden agendas. We keep in touch because we want to be friends. We've met each others' families. Wonderful parents she has.
So, am reminded, its not all dark and gloomy in the online world. Nice people are around. And these are people whom you dont need to worry that one fine day the person you think is wonderful, turns out to be a monster, or a manipulating creature. Will always wish her well in her life, particularly at this period when she's about to sit for a crucial professional exam. Hope she gets through it and goes on to have a succesful career. This lady deserves it.
Its the end of wednesday. Another hectic day at office. There is uncertainty now. Its unjust how some are in this world. How discriminative things are. Youre rarely judged by the work you produce, but by the "foreign-ness" of the name of your organisation. Just have a foreign affiliation or add a "mat salleh" name to your company's name, and youve practically made it in Malaysia. But when you look at the people behind them, its the same locals producing about the same work as you and i. Its sad how a book is judged by its cover.
While on this, its disgusting a particular organisation which is an multinational financial institution which has a tagline that in so-much of words says its our friendly local friend, refuses to accept services of equally qualified firms. Perhaps its the local-ness of these firms' names. Yet they have the cheek to ask we bend the rules and participate in undercutting of professional fees. Such arm-twisting is getting to be too common nawadays. Makes one wonder when the authorities especially the Central Bank will step in and demand that everything is above board to ensure the impartiality of all parties offering professional services.
Digressing, but i must say the ad for peugeot where the guy transforms his volks to the shape of a peugeot was superb. Definitely creative and eye-catching, not to mention witty.
Another thought crossed the mind. Over the years its apparent its not all that rosy over here. There has seemed to be a glaring lack of sensitivity towards the minorities. There is tremendous expectation for the minority to be highly sensitive towards the majority, but sadly its never reciprocated. In almost every facet of life, while most of the minority would be sensitive towards the feelings and culture of the majority, almost always when things are done by the majority hardly a thought is given to the sensitivities of the former. Someone said a very blunt thing to the Education Minister in the papers today. Dont insult the intelligence of the public. A matriculation system of examination can never equal to the nightmarish STPM exams which cover 1.5 years of syllabus in a single 2 to 3 week exam. The former though would have coursework and assignments which contribute to part of their marks. Even after the outcry last year, we are still going through the same problems this year. Its a simple problem with an even simpler solution. Ensure everyone sits for the STPM, since its of high standards. Then, its an even playing field. Why create situations where the best brains in the country are forced to move out of the country and never return. At the end of the day, wouldnt all of us want the best brains of the country staying within and contributing towards the improvement of this country???
Somehow or rather, there will tend to be a silver lining in the clouds. Have been communicating with an old chat friend recently. Known the lady for 2 years plus now. 2 years is a long time here online, for me. She's married and has a good hubby. Nice couple they are. But somehow or rather have not been able to meet up with them at KL whenever am there. Its been 7 months since last saw them. I guess when all is done and considered, she's been one rare individual from the online world who's been true, without pretensions, without expectations, and wants to keep the friendship going. Theres never a need to worry about "wayangs" i.e. play-acting, or hidden agendas. We keep in touch because we want to be friends. We've met each others' families. Wonderful parents she has.
So, am reminded, its not all dark and gloomy in the online world. Nice people are around. And these are people whom you dont need to worry that one fine day the person you think is wonderful, turns out to be a monster, or a manipulating creature. Will always wish her well in her life, particularly at this period when she's about to sit for a crucial professional exam. Hope she gets through it and goes on to have a succesful career. This lady deserves it.
Its the end of wednesday. Another hectic day at office. There is uncertainty now. Its unjust how some are in this world. How discriminative things are. Youre rarely judged by the work you produce, but by the "foreign-ness" of the name of your organisation. Just have a foreign affiliation or add a "mat salleh" name to your company's name, and youve practically made it in Malaysia. But when you look at the people behind them, its the same locals producing about the same work as you and i. Its sad how a book is judged by its cover.
While on this, its disgusting a particular organisation which is an multinational financial institution which has a tagline that in so-much of words says its our friendly local friend, refuses to accept services of equally qualified firms. Perhaps its the local-ness of these firms' names. Yet they have the cheek to ask we bend the rules and participate in undercutting of professional fees. Such arm-twisting is getting to be too common nawadays. Makes one wonder when the authorities especially the Central Bank will step in and demand that everything is above board to ensure the impartiality of all parties offering professional services.
Digressing, but i must say the ad for peugeot where the guy transforms his volks to the shape of a peugeot was superb. Definitely creative and eye-catching, not to mention witty.
Another thought crossed the mind. Over the years its apparent its not all that rosy over here. There has seemed to be a glaring lack of sensitivity towards the minorities. There is tremendous expectation for the minority to be highly sensitive towards the majority, but sadly its never reciprocated. In almost every facet of life, while most of the minority would be sensitive towards the feelings and culture of the majority, almost always when things are done by the majority hardly a thought is given to the sensitivities of the former. Someone said a very blunt thing to the Education Minister in the papers today. Dont insult the intelligence of the public. A matriculation system of examination can never equal to the nightmarish STPM exams which cover 1.5 years of syllabus in a single 2 to 3 week exam. The former though would have coursework and assignments which contribute to part of their marks. Even after the outcry last year, we are still going through the same problems this year. Its a simple problem with an even simpler solution. Ensure everyone sits for the STPM, since its of high standards. Then, its an even playing field. Why create situations where the best brains in the country are forced to move out of the country and never return. At the end of the day, wouldnt all of us want the best brains of the country staying within and contributing towards the improvement of this country???
Tuesday, July 08, 2003
Life's a roller coaster ride. The highs and lows able to overwhelm one beyond imagination. A productive morning, with much work cleared, yet theres more to go through. Indulged in a 2 hour lunch to catch up with old friends. Fancy meeting someone last met briefly almost 10 years ago or thereabout. His thoughts on the state of the country and its administrators, its people... its hauntingly true. Its scary. Scarier is whats the situation likely to be in the years to come. For a country so blessed with resources and opportunities, we're cursed with obstacles. The narrow-mindedness and insensitivity that pervades, will only result in bigger problems in future. The environment i left behind in the virtual world, is nothing compared to the obstacles in real life.
On the personal front, its becoming apparent to me, finally i guess, that am beginning to or have already lost a very good friend. Its like grasping running water from the tap. Trying to catch a handful, and not getting anything at all. There has been no reply to the email sent. No responses. No replies. No messages. A relationship where only one party is actively trying to keep it going, is not a friendship. Friendships should be like the act of making love, its a two way thing. Both parties need to work on it. Errr perhaps that was a bad analogy. Wouldnt want my male friends to think of me as a love partner ..LOL. When its apparent, its only one, then one has to make the painful decision to back away and remain in the sidelines. Perhaps fade away for good, to be forgotten. That would be the gentlemanly thing to do.
Perhaps a game of squash tonight would do the trick. Running like mad, and hitting a ball time and again against the wall, should be good for the mind. Calls made, and its confirmed tonight. Looking forward to it.
On the personal front, its becoming apparent to me, finally i guess, that am beginning to or have already lost a very good friend. Its like grasping running water from the tap. Trying to catch a handful, and not getting anything at all. There has been no reply to the email sent. No responses. No replies. No messages. A relationship where only one party is actively trying to keep it going, is not a friendship. Friendships should be like the act of making love, its a two way thing. Both parties need to work on it. Errr perhaps that was a bad analogy. Wouldnt want my male friends to think of me as a love partner ..LOL. When its apparent, its only one, then one has to make the painful decision to back away and remain in the sidelines. Perhaps fade away for good, to be forgotten. That would be the gentlemanly thing to do.
Perhaps a game of squash tonight would do the trick. Running like mad, and hitting a ball time and again against the wall, should be good for the mind. Calls made, and its confirmed tonight. Looking forward to it.
Monday, July 07, 2003
who can deny the joy it brings, when you find that special person..youre flying without wings
you find it in the deepest friendships.. the kind you cherish all your life
and when you know how much that means, you found that special thing, youre flying without wings........ (Yes, will cherish some friendships for the rest of my life)
but for me, its waking up beside you... to watch the sunrise off your face (wish i could wake up before you one day :) )...to know i can say I Love You...any given time or place...its the little things that only i know, those are the things that make you mine.. and its the flying without wings, cos youre my special thing, am flying without wings
the song just lifts the spirits.
you find it in the deepest friendships.. the kind you cherish all your life
and when you know how much that means, you found that special thing, youre flying without wings........ (Yes, will cherish some friendships for the rest of my life)
but for me, its waking up beside you... to watch the sunrise off your face (wish i could wake up before you one day :) )...to know i can say I Love You...any given time or place...its the little things that only i know, those are the things that make you mine.. and its the flying without wings, cos youre my special thing, am flying without wings
the song just lifts the spirits.
Start of a chaotic Monday that came after a weekend that ended too fast. In office late, as usual. Rather spend an hour with the kids in the morning, then to rush to work to face a mountain of files on the table.
Its all too easy for me to get worked up. Why cant people take their work seriously. (Naturally, me spending time online doesnt count). Why cant typists concentrate on their work. Its just a matter of reading whats written, and re-producing the text. The only creativity required being to format the document in a structured and presentable manner. Why am i online now? After an hour of vetting reports, i decided i needed a break, or else i was going to lose my temper. When one sticks one's neck out each time one puts one's signature on a report or letter, one cant help but have anxiety attacks every now and then. Had just signed a report, and realised there was an ommision. Something that i had corrected at the draft stage of the report, was not acted upon. Sigh. Another near miss.
It has crossed my mind all too often nowadays. Is it luck that most contemporaries in this line of work seem to have the same problem of not having a good assistant whom you could trust to make sure whatever that ends on your table is of a certain level, with minimum mistakes. Whereas our superiors of yesteryears had the benefit of having us, why is it we dont seem to be able to enjoy that benefit. Every single one who has spent years seem to just move on. There is a major shift happening. Gone are the days young ones would want to learn and grow with the firm. Most would just move on at the first opportunity.
Hurray, Mr Woods won again. Another great score on fantasy golf. Position has improved only slightly to 604 in the world now, and only 5 points behind Masters, the leader of Hogan's group.
Time to clear reports on table.
Its all too easy for me to get worked up. Why cant people take their work seriously. (Naturally, me spending time online doesnt count). Why cant typists concentrate on their work. Its just a matter of reading whats written, and re-producing the text. The only creativity required being to format the document in a structured and presentable manner. Why am i online now? After an hour of vetting reports, i decided i needed a break, or else i was going to lose my temper. When one sticks one's neck out each time one puts one's signature on a report or letter, one cant help but have anxiety attacks every now and then. Had just signed a report, and realised there was an ommision. Something that i had corrected at the draft stage of the report, was not acted upon. Sigh. Another near miss.
It has crossed my mind all too often nowadays. Is it luck that most contemporaries in this line of work seem to have the same problem of not having a good assistant whom you could trust to make sure whatever that ends on your table is of a certain level, with minimum mistakes. Whereas our superiors of yesteryears had the benefit of having us, why is it we dont seem to be able to enjoy that benefit. Every single one who has spent years seem to just move on. There is a major shift happening. Gone are the days young ones would want to learn and grow with the firm. Most would just move on at the first opportunity.
Hurray, Mr Woods won again. Another great score on fantasy golf. Position has improved only slightly to 604 in the world now, and only 5 points behind Masters, the leader of Hogan's group.
Time to clear reports on table.
Sunday, July 06, 2003
End of a saturday. And the start of sunday has been another low point. Am at home, everyone is asleep. Its a silent night. Been a tiring day. The lower back is hurt. Its moments like this, wished i was shorter. The kids have been a joy to be with. Seeing their smiles and laughs, an instant relief. Looking around, a pile of files from office that needs attention. Will make an effort to go through them later.
Time to lighten up. I have never been good at handling breakdowns in close friendships. And there has hardly been any close friendships. Three of them, one slowly recuperating in a casual manner after years of silence. The other, now, drifting further apart as the days pass by. A third one, still going strong. Someone who keeps in touch, and enjoy each others' company. Chatted once, and met almost the same day i think. And we've been good friends since. In the meantime, i've had 2 daughters, and she's married.
I must save something here. A general observation on the chat rooms, particularly Kuala Lumpur global chat. Here goes.
1. Hello and its different variations incl. salam, is the most frequently used words on chat
2. The number of "hello" one gets upon entering a chat room, contrary to popular belief, is NOT indicative of how popular the person is.
3. Its a free world. Everyone is entitled to say or type whatever they wish. Therefore it should not be proper to chase away anyone. This would include flooders and booters.
4. Everyone however has the right to ignore anyone they please for whatever reason.
5. Everyone has the right to curse and swear at anyone they please.
6. In most cases when it comes to women, the older they get, the younger they pretend they are :)) The same with guys? Am not so sure about that.
7. The new guy in chat, will hit on every female ID or every ID which he cant comprehend whether theyre male or female
8. The new chatter will believe every single thing another chatter says. There are exceptions though. Some believe every gossip they hear, regardless how absurd it is.
9. The longer one is in chat, the more one realises, its mostly a drama (play acting)
out there.
11. Most women, esp. the aunties, want everyone to agree with whatever they say. To disagree and critic, would be a great sin, resulting in tantrums and bitching around for ages
12. Taking into 11 of the above, some will be very outspoken, to the point they wont give a damn about what others feel or think. Unless of course, the others are paying that someone's bills
13. A big number of people there do have sleeping disorders.
Now, done it. Its past 2am here.
Why do i stay online for long? Golf is on, and Mr Woods just stretched his lead to 6 strokes, and he's only at the 6th hole in his third round. Weir and Verplank in 3rd and 4th respectively. Would be great if they could maintain till end of day. Am at position 665 out of 265,313 taking part in the yahoo fantasy golf game. Hoping to break into the top 50. Wishful thinking, but what the heck. Need such distractions in life. Cant wait for EPL to start.
Signing off for now.
Time to lighten up. I have never been good at handling breakdowns in close friendships. And there has hardly been any close friendships. Three of them, one slowly recuperating in a casual manner after years of silence. The other, now, drifting further apart as the days pass by. A third one, still going strong. Someone who keeps in touch, and enjoy each others' company. Chatted once, and met almost the same day i think. And we've been good friends since. In the meantime, i've had 2 daughters, and she's married.
I must save something here. A general observation on the chat rooms, particularly Kuala Lumpur global chat. Here goes.
1. Hello and its different variations incl. salam, is the most frequently used words on chat
2. The number of "hello" one gets upon entering a chat room, contrary to popular belief, is NOT indicative of how popular the person is.
3. Its a free world. Everyone is entitled to say or type whatever they wish. Therefore it should not be proper to chase away anyone. This would include flooders and booters.
4. Everyone however has the right to ignore anyone they please for whatever reason.
5. Everyone has the right to curse and swear at anyone they please.
6. In most cases when it comes to women, the older they get, the younger they pretend they are :)) The same with guys? Am not so sure about that.
7. The new guy in chat, will hit on every female ID or every ID which he cant comprehend whether theyre male or female
8. The new chatter will believe every single thing another chatter says. There are exceptions though. Some believe every gossip they hear, regardless how absurd it is.
9. The longer one is in chat, the more one realises, its mostly a drama (play acting)
out there.
11. Most women, esp. the aunties, want everyone to agree with whatever they say. To disagree and critic, would be a great sin, resulting in tantrums and bitching around for ages
12. Taking into 11 of the above, some will be very outspoken, to the point they wont give a damn about what others feel or think. Unless of course, the others are paying that someone's bills
13. A big number of people there do have sleeping disorders.
Now, done it. Its past 2am here.
Why do i stay online for long? Golf is on, and Mr Woods just stretched his lead to 6 strokes, and he's only at the 6th hole in his third round. Weir and Verplank in 3rd and 4th respectively. Would be great if they could maintain till end of day. Am at position 665 out of 265,313 taking part in the yahoo fantasy golf game. Hoping to break into the top 50. Wishful thinking, but what the heck. Need such distractions in life. Cant wait for EPL to start.
Signing off for now.
Friday, July 04, 2003
"I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than an eternity without it. One."-The City of Angels. Nice quote.
Will I persevere and continue to write? Will I be able to toe the fine line to ensure the privacy of people? I can only pray I will be able to.
Its a start of a weekend. Hope Monday comes late.
Will I persevere and continue to write? Will I be able to toe the fine line to ensure the privacy of people? I can only pray I will be able to.
Its a start of a weekend. Hope Monday comes late.
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