almost a year now...
How time flies. Its late November now. In a few weeks, it will be the first anniversary of his passing away. We are going around and phoning close ones to invite them over for prayers at our home. It's deja-vu all over again.

I remember writing at that point on whether time will be a healer of pain and sadness. At this point of time, i would say no. Time has not been the healer for those who mourn. It all depends whether one lets one's mind wander and reflect upon the past. If hypothetically one would block out the past, and just lives the moment and looks forward in life, perhaps that is different.

As for me, its those fleeting moments when i see his photo. Or when am alone and i think of the past. Or when my daughters innocently asks if he is still at the hospital or God's home. And when he is coming back. They still remember him. The elder one misses him and occasionally says she wish he came back and took her to the playground everyday. [sigh, daddy has been guilty of not doing this regularly Image ] The younger one just a few days back, lay on the bed, lifted a leg and crossed the other while keeping her hands folded beneath her head. And she smiled and said that was how he lies down.

Driving past the General Hospital with the kids is never easy. The younger one would point and say that is where he is. Thats where we last saw him alive.

It is easier said than done to just think of the good times and appreciate the times we had together. But it is still all too easy to get a bit teary-eyed. Perhaps the hurt is not been able to actually say our goodbyes. Or to assure him that all will be taken care of after his passing. But then again, nobody realised he would go away that soon.

I hope the following few weeks will pass by fast. That all will go one smoothly. As a tribute to him. That all is and will always be well. It almost impossible, but i think we have to try.

"Goodbye
How does one reflect upon or mourn the death of one who was respected and admired but supposedly later ended up being the most wanted terrorist in the region.

He and his wife were loved by many of us students. They were caring. They taught what they knew. They knew what they taught. And they made us think. They made us expect more. They had set a benchmark for other lecturers within the faculty.

For two years i.e. 4 semesters, he had taught us the subject of valuation, during our second and third years. He was one of the nicest guys around, you could say he was like one of us. And am told for many years thereafter others continued to enjoy his teachings.

Perhaps the last that i saw and spoke to him was in the early to mid 90s. He presented a paper on multiple regression analysis and monte carlo simulation, and their uses in the valuation profession. Yes, this was a man who was good with his numbers. And he was able to convey his thoughts and opinions. He wasnt one of those who lifted paragraphs or chapters from books and delivered them as lecture notes to the audience.

Till today, the news of his alleged involvement within the terrorist circle has yet to sink in. It is difficult to understand. Did his stay in UK and later his work attachment at Indonesia change him? I dont know. Did he do all the things thats he is being accused of? I dont know that for sure either. God will be the judge of him now.

All that i know is he will continue to be remembered for all the good that he had done. For all his coaching and advice. For all his positive motivation. Yes, am sure the outgoing batch of 1987/88 will always remember this man in a positive light.

Goodbye Dr Azahari Husin.
"